Blissperience: MIRROR MIRROR

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

I’m Fabulous

Period!

I came across an inspirational poem recently.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

It’s Okay That You’re Ugly

Pretty On The Inside Is What Matters

Blah Blah Blah

Bullshit Bullshit Blah

Yada Yada Blah

Bullshit Et Cetera

How did compensatory qualification become A) Inspirational and B) A viable substitute for a legitimate healthy self esteem?

How?

Because it isn’t. Not in any way shape or form.

It is teaching people three things.

1) It’s okay and even preferable to be ugly on the outside.

2) That beautiful on the inside is a strict set of predetermined limited range societal expectations just as much as beautiful on the outside, and it’s someone else that decides that. Both are apparently opposing rationalizations and acceptable substitutions for each other.

3) Firm affirmation of the belief that you are ugly.

YA…. number three really pisses me off. So, let’s talk about number three.

In this philosophy of rationalization, the person(s) being addressed has been given a passive-aggressive yet resounding confirmation of their non-physical attractiveness.

This is not strictly an issue in the chub life. There is that ever popular “Butter Face” group of women who are declared to have “perfect” and “super hot” bodies, “But Her” Face is awful.

Ya, let’s not forget about that!

So, we have the group of women who hear “You have such a pretty face for a fat girl, at least you aren’t ugly”, the Butter Face gang hearing the opposite and heaven help you if you don’t hear either because that would make you the DUFF…. Designated Ugly Fat Friend.

Which is quite alright according to our little poem, because Mirror, Mirror after all, it’s okay that you are little better than Quasimodo, YOU, have a “beautiful soul” a “heart of gold” and/or my personal favourite “a great sense of humour/personality”. As I see it, we have several issues to tackle to address properly this epidemic of the subtle sabotage of self worth.

The COMPARISON TRAP!

The need to compare one to another and analyze merits of one over another to elevate a diminished esteem that was damaged by comparison in the first place. Thus creating an unbelievable mythology that one MUST be unattractive to have a worthy soul, a noble heart or a halfway decent personality. So VERY VERY VERY VERY FALSE!!!!

The COMPETITION TRAP!

A situation where we cannot seem to maintain even a false sense of self-esteem or self worth unless we can demonstrate that we are somehow “better” than someone else.

The CONTROL TRAP!

No longer self directing ideas as an individual as to what defines beauty and character. What we want and need for our personal happiness suffers greatly. After all, if you are constantly immersed in comparison and competition, how much in control of your happiness can you be?? It’s always someone or something else that determines the resulting belief.

So, today’s mission, should you choose to accept it;

1) Soul Search

2) Decide what matters to you as an individual human being

3) Find a word, or several individual words that embody the spirit of those qualities

4) Use this as a tool of self empowerment

BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, ROCKSTAR, GODDESS, SUPERSTAR, AWESOME

You choose the word. You decide what it means. Identify yourself by that word. Be that which YOU ADMIRE.

I am guilty of using all of the above and then some. My personal all time favourite is FABULOUS!!!!

I AM FABULOUS!!!!

And stop talking. Stop listening to anything else. Don’t qualify it. Don’t explain it. Don’t use it to elevate yourself above another. Don’t use it as a point of comparison of one fragment of yourself to another….or worse to another person.

Just a simple statement of fact.

I AM FABULOUS!!!!

Bliss between 325 and 350lbs
Bliss between 325 and 350lbs

THE END

Before and After Bliss

January 2009 & December 2015

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